Called to Marriage

Bruna talks about the vocation of marriage and finding someone who will be by your side all the way in the journey to Heaven.

A young couple get married
A young couple get married

Some time ago I was waiting for my dad to pick me up after Mass. As I stood there, in front of the church, the next Mass was about to begin. I watched the people arriving; there were a lot of cars stopping, with husbands dropping off their wives and then driving off. Wives, going to Mass alone, without their husbands.

This made me think about how much I don’t want that for my future. I don’t want a husband who, whilst nice and supportive, is only willing to be my chauffeur to and from Mass, and doesn’t want to be an active participant in the most important part of my life – my faith.

I want a husband that will push me off the sofa when, for some reason, I feel that I don’t want to go. If the most important part of my life can’t be shared with the man who I’m with, something is not right with this relationship.

The vocation to marriage is one of the most beautiful parts of the Church. I remember hearing a priest say that it is right next to the vocation of priesthood. Not above, not below; the family is the cradle of all the vocations.

If you are called to marriage you have an important role in the Church, as well as an important role to the person whom God is entrusting to you. You are called to help that person in his journey to Heaven and raise your children in the Catholic faith!

Don’t think you are hurrying things by discussing with your boyfriend important issues about marriage and the future. This is part of the process of finding out if you are right for each other.

This is the purpose of dating; to find out if that person is the one who is going to share this difficult, but beautiful and blessed, calling with you. Not someone who is willing to be there only some of the time, but someone who wants to be there the whole way, and understands the real meaning of marriage. Don’t think you are hurrying things by discussing with your boyfriend important issues about marriage and the future. This is part of the process of finding out if you are right for each other.

I was in a relationship with a guy who was “Catholic” but he didn’t want to truly live the teachings of the Church. We were committed to each other and started to think about marriage. But we started to fight often, because he wanted to live a different life and wanted different things, away from the Church. It was really hard to make the decision to end the relationship, but I knew what I want for my life and for my future family. And I knew that I would never be able to fulfil the mission that God calls me to do in the Church with him.

During the last World Youth Day I was at one of the catechesis events, and somebody asked an African bishop if it was ok for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic. He said the question wasn’t if the Church allows it or not; the Church is not going to say you can’t marry someone. But you have to think: how is this going to affect me? If I marry this person, am I going to be able to continue to live an authentically Catholic life? Or is this person going to lead me away from God?

It’s so hard to be a Catholic in this crazy word with all the temptations! To raise a Catholic family is going to be even harder if you have to do it with a husband who is not practicing.

A young couple getting married in the Diocese of Westminster
A young couple getting married in the Diocese of Westminster

Marriage is about giving yourself completely to the other person and wanting Heaven for them; it is how God calls you to reach Heaven! So think about this: what do I want for my life? What do I want for the future family that God calls me to have? Spend the time dating to find out the person’s beliefs and wants in life. You might ultimately have to make a hard decision, but don’t forget that you’re not going to be alone. God is there to give you strength and help you in your decisions.

The more I learn about the Catholic view of marriage, the more I fall in love with my vocation!

The more I learn about the Catholic view of marriage, the more I fall in love with my vocation! I want to have a holy family, a holy marriage and answer God’s call for me. And I want to do that with a person that wants the same; who is going to be with me in our journey to Heaven; who is going to give me strength when I feel like giving up.

God has a plan for you and if you are called to marriage there’s a person out there for you. God wants the best for you, so don’t settle for less than that. Don’t give up the search for true love and finding the right person. Don’t let your previous experiences, or your friends and family, make you believe that this person doesn’t exist. I was like that once. But trust me, he does!