I have been through a lot of really bad relationships. How can I learn to trust a guy again?
When choosing your companions in the future, keep the following five considerations in mind:
1. Take your time before entering a relationship. Instead of worrying about trusting boyfriends in the future, begin to build innocent friendships with decent guys. This safe environment will help you to see that there are plenty of good guys out there.
2. Do not date someone if you cannot see yourself marrying him.
3. Only marry someone if he loves God more than he loves you.
4. Do not carry on a relationship with a guy who is unable to resist temptation. If he is unable to refuse temptation before marriage, how will he resist temptation within marriage? What woman wants to marry a guy who cannot say no to sex?
5. Do not think that you always need to be in a relationship, especially if you are in high school. Take some time for just you and God. Having alone time with the Lord is part of the healing process. In addition, having God-centered relationships will help to mend the wounds of the past. To find the healing and love that you truly deserve, turn to God and follow his lead in your relationships.
I suppose the best way to know when you’ve found a good man is by jumping headlong into an intense, intimate relationship with a trustworthy guy—Jesus. The more you get to know him, the more you will be able to recognize guys that resemble him and guys that do not. Recognize that the ones who are most like him are most worthy of trust, but do not be quick to give your heart away. The Lord can heal anything, but the healing of wounds and the rebuilding of trust is a process that takes time.
Be patient with yourself in this process. It’s perfectly natural that you would want to guard your heart right now. In time, you will see that some men deserve trust while others deserve none. My God grant you the wisdom and courage to know the difference.
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